Archive for March, 2010

Coexist

Posted in Picdump, Uncategorized with tags , , on March 31, 2010 by munkybut

A very important message.  No one is better than anyone else.  COEXIST

Murray Hill Inc is Running for Congress

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on March 17, 2010 by munkybut

God bless you Murray Hill Inc for returning the voice to America.

Defeated by math

Posted in Picdump, Uncategorized with tags , on March 16, 2010 by munkybut

I’m not entirely sure about the math in this, but it look legit.

The backstory for Smith Deeger

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on March 14, 2010 by munkybut

Here is a copy of my character’s backstory; stored here for posterity.


Smith Deeger is a Halfling, small even by Halfing standards.  Smith was just your average every day Halfing, enjoying hanging out with his friends in the village.  Smith was a very outspoken child.  One of the most popular kids in town.  If Smith had a copper for every friend he had in the town, why he’d even be able to buy the farm from the Badbles (and everyone knew they were the most well to do in town).

Smith and his pals went on many adventures together, once even following a cave they had found all the way until they discovered that the cave connected right to the town’s well!  They had even come across a spider as big around as your open hand.  Needless to say, once Smith’s mother, Meriwhistle found out about this, she tanned his hide something good.

And thus things went throughout Smith’s childhood in the small town of Pickletar Openshire (named after the ever so famous Halfing who founded the town: Gallybert Pickletar); that is until about two weeks after the celebration celebrating the town’s seventy-first anniversary.  What a celebration that was too!  Smith and the boys had gotten into the gaffer’s brew and Smith had even ended the night with his very first kiss from none other than Mona Firegrass, easily the prettiest girl in town.

It was on that fateful evening, just as the Deeger parents’ heads were hitting the pillows to sleep that they heard a knock at the door.  Smith remembers this all quite vividly as he was laying in bed, afraid and awake.  He had just awoken from a dream where he, Mipple and Tally (the apple merchant’s kids) had snuck back into that cave for a look around.   Inside they had found a pool of water lit by a glow, that was not at all troubling in his sleepy-dream-logic, and decided to go for a swim.  Smith had seem something sparkle at the bottom of the pool and decided to check it out.  At the bottom he had made a gruesome discovery, it was the body of his mother and in her mouth he could see that the fist-sized spiders had made a home!  Just as he surfaced to tell his friends of his find, he opened his eyes only to find himself on his bed covered in spiders.

He had awoken in a sweat and laid in bed silently looking for the courage to tell his mother what had happened.  Just as he had gotten up and put his foot to the cold wooden floor, he heard the knock at the door.  Quietly, he had tiptoed his way to the main hall and peeked around the wall to see who his father was speaking to.

Sam Deeger had been the head of the town watch, a building of a man, standing nearly five feet high.  With his booming voice Smith had come to fear, love and respect all in the same breath, he heard his father tell Tom Pagmick, his second in command, “What do you mean two thousand strong?  Impossible!  They had been just a ragged band of misfits 6 months ago, perhaps your men should go check again!”

“We have sir, the torches stretch for nearly a mile, I believe this time, the Orcs mean business.  And they are nearly upon us!”

Smith quickly scurried up the stairs and back into bed where he quietly pretended to be asleep.  After some scrambling around the house Smith’s father, now decked out in the town watch’s uniform and holding a shield and sword he was not even aware his father owned, and his mother, Patty Deeger, had burst into the room.  His father, rushing to his side had told Smith that should something happen to him, Smith would be the man of the house from now on.

The rest of the evening was full of a chaos that Smith could not begin to understand.  Everything happened so quickly, that it had only felt like less time that in takes his mother’s broth to boil, then he and his mother had found themselves huddled in a closet as the house was searched by some terrifying monsters, he would later discover(and sadly get very acquainted with) were Orcs.  If you asked him now, he wouldn’t be able to tell you what happened next, but he does remember, if vaguely, screams and sickly sweet smell of hot metal on flesh.

What felt like years later, he awoke chained to the wall of a cave and several other of the younger kids in town.  From what he was able to gather the Orcs had taken anyone fit to work and the smallest had been chained together.  The group sat and sobbed in the dark for the next several hours before they heard something rather large coming, dragging chains behind him.

The next five years had been an eternity in hell, an eternity that, looking back, had passed in the blink of an eye.  Smith had been sold into slavery and worked deep in a cave for a fat and ugly Dwarf.  And it was here he stayed, for five years, until the evening when his master had drank himself to sleep before he had chained the boy up.

At first, Smith had headed back to his corner where he decided to sleep, making it a point to rechain himself before the Dwarf had awoken the following morning.  For several hours he sat and thought.  Thought about the past, thought about his mother, thought about his friends, and thought about the grass.  He had long ago resigned himself to never again feeling soft, moist grass on his bare feet.  Though he would never forget the sight of a field of flowers in the sunlight.  Would never forget the colors, the yellows, brighter than the sun; the reds, deeper than the oceans; the blues, so cottony soft, soft as cloth, soft as a dress.

He remembered the time he had met the women in the field in her beautifully soft dress. Her hair was a shinier gold than all of the dragon’s hoards of all the world.  She had a perfect smile and perfect teeth, a smile that could make you feel at home.  She did not speak, but he could feel that her voice was as musical as a thousand harps all playing the same song in unison.  When she had beckoned him he had followed.  Through the flowers and over the hill he followed her.  As the wind blew past her he could smell the sweet lavender scent of her hair.  This woman had led him to a large tree.  Taller than any he had ever seen, and the tree must have been as big around as his house back in the village!

With soft steps the woman danced around the tree and vanished behind it.  When Smith followed her to the back he saw her standing just beyond an eerily familiar doorway built into the tree.  With a look of sympathy and happiness all at once, she reached her hand out, Smith took it.  With a soft, silky grip she led him through the doorway.  He had stood there, dumbly, waiting for her next move.  He would follow her to the end of the world and beyond.  She leaned in and closed her eyes.  With unexspressable glee, he closed his eyes to accept the kiss.

When he again opened his eyes, he was standing in a cave, surrounded by the scent of lavender.  He turned to look behind him and saw that he was standing before the very house he had spent the last five years.  Door open, he could see the Dwarf asleep still barely gripping the bottle.  Smith, immediately gripped with fear had taken his first step towards reentering home of his captive when he was met with a quiet summer breeze.  The breeze blew through his hair and softly blew the door shut.

With swiftness he was not sure he had, and more quietly and carefully than he knew was possible, he made his way back to the surface.

***

Five years later, Smith has found himself back in a small town, though not the one of his childhood.  He is looking to raise enough money to start again and buy back his mother, his father, his friends, his family…if they’re still out there.  His small size would prevent him from fighting for them, but money is the language of the world and he would make things right.

More fun with Religion

Posted in Picdump, Uncategorized with tags on March 14, 2010 by munkybut

These are by far my favorite kinds of images.  There’s something magic about turning the wackiness that is religion back on the fanatic that makes me smile.

Religion is fun!

Posted in Picdump, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on March 1, 2010 by munkybut

Religion is fun!